Morningtide.nl

I’m tired and grumpy and sore and I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

Which obviously doesn’t change the fact that I will go to work tomorrow, but… eh… I’m just so sick of it. I’m sick and tired of that fucking bitch, and of the fucking indecisiveness regarding the situation. It obviously needs to be fixed, so they need to get off their asses and fix it.

Kind of feels like D-Day tomorrow anyway. If I don’t get any satisfying answers about either a graduation project/thesis or a 36/40 hour contract then it’s back to the drawing board for me. Does anyone know any non-asshole filled companies that need a transport planner?

Inspired by Conception and our impending visit to Indiecon I decided to pick up GM’ing. It’s not something I’ve done before, and I’m pretty sure it’s not something I’ll be particularly good at. On the other hand, it may also be something I’m good at. I’m a story teller, after all, so coming up with plot and scenario isn’t that hard. On the other hand, I have to keep in mind that it won’t be me that’s telling the story. It’ll be the players, and it’s more fun to watch them go than to keep them railroaded to my idea of what the story should be.

And I should also keep in mind that not everyone is an awesome story teller. Conception did tell me that much. And it also showed me what I do and don’t like in GM’ing. Yes, Mick, Lady Blackbird was the best game of my con, and it ruined me for life when it comes to gaming. Be proud :p.

Anyway, I’m now working on a couple of games which I’ll run for gaming and non gaming friends alike

Jaws of the Six Serpents – A fairly ’standard’ sword and sorcery game. Book-wise, I’m reminded of David Eddings and the Belgariad. Alorns! I played this game at Conception, and it rocks. I’ve got 6 characters ready, and a basic idea of what the scenario should be. Should write that out and get to playtesting that within a few weeks.

Cranna – A world that Lannie and Lyanna are very familiar with, and a game that I’m making with the PDQ-system. I was going to make it and run it at indiecon, but I think it would actually be more fun if I kept that here, and ran that for the people who know the world. Who knows, it may actually be something that I can do with the old Dragonmount group. What do you guys think? I’ve made some characters for this already, but then I got distracted by the ‘traditional’ Jaws game :p

The Hunt for Ra – People who have read my nano for last year should be familiar with this one. I’m making it into a game, with the same system as the Lady Blackbird. Fast paced and action filled. I hope. If this works out the way I want it to, it’s going to be made of awesome.

Red Hell – Also known as the underground prison escape game, based on the story Lannie and I are writing. Maybe we should finish that first though. Yeah, probably.

And on top of all that, Mick is getting me RuneQuest and Summerland, which also sound very cool, and I might make games out of those too. T

The way it looks now I won’t even have time to play any games at Indiecon. O.o May have to reconsider running all of those games and limit myself to two or three. But they’re all awesome, and the list isn’t even complete yet. Noes… But I guess I’ll finish the first game first, and see if I’m actually any good at this :p.

I’m beginning to feel a little worn out. No small wonder, of course, but it’s annoying. At this point I just want to sleep. Just curl up and sleep. Just curl up with someone and sleep.

But that’s where it all gets fubarred again. There is no way in Hell I should be this over the moon over someone I’ve barely spent three days with. And yet I am… And don’t get me wrong, it’s fucking brilliant. Annoying and frustrating and scary and AAAAAAAAAHH!!, but brilliant none the less.

Except that it’s not, because I can’t do anything about it right now. Which is annoying. And Frustrating. Ugh. And yet… it really is brilliant. It just needs to stop keeping me up at night. I know, it’s not just that, it’s also work and school and housing and all that other crap, but since it is the one thing that I actually like pondering on, it does seem to be the thing that’s keeping me awake.

And at this point, I really just want to sleep. I’m going round in circles. Rather incoherently at that. Oh well.

It’s been a week since Conception, and I still don’t know what to write about it. Rollercoaster much, anyone? Aside from the whole gaming experience, which fucking rocked, there’s also the whole social aspect, which also fucking rocked.

You have this stereotype in mind of a gamer. The kind of geek that spent the last 20/30/40 years in his mothers basement thinking up storylines for his d&d games.Those geeks were present at Conception too. However, there were also other people. This shouldn’t have surprised me, of course, as I’m a gamer and I don’t fit into the ‘momma’s basement for life’-category. Anyway, the first game I played in featured a lot of the geek-gamers, so I did feel a little awkward about not being as socially awkward as some of the other players. As I told Petra when I signed up for my first game, I’m very glad that I’m not shy, because otherwise signing up for random games where I don’t know anyone would be hard. On the other hand, I’m not sure if a little shyness isn’t a good thing when you’re with a group of generally socially inept people.

On the other hand, we did end up meeting ‘the other side of the gaming spectrum’ as well. I think that type of gamer is best described as your average cool kid/pub goer, who roleplays instead of playing darts. I think it’s kind of pointless for me to say that I felt much more at home with that particular crowd, and so did Lyanna and IJdo. This also leads me to my next conclusion about gamers and GM’s. The more extrovert your GM and gamers are, the better your game is. Especially the ones that demand a lot of narration from the players. I definitely had the most fun with the more outgoing people. Such as the Pompey Crew :p

I don’t usually get attached to people all that easily, but at the end of conception when the Pompey Crew left, I was feeling decidedly meh about that. I mean, really meh. To the point where I had to work at not sulking the rest of the afternoon. And that only barely worked, until Mick e-mailed me, and I was feeling decidedly squee again.

Ugh. So now part of me is doing happy cartwheels, while another part is muttering something about how pathetic I really am. The third part just wants me to shut the hell up already so I can finally get some sleep. So this whole entire blogpost is dedicated to this one thing: I’m all over the place  right now, but I rather like it I think. Probably. Yeah, I guess so.

Fucking Brits. Uniform wearing Brits? Oh, that’s just not fair. How’s a girl supposed to resist that?

Holy shit, I log onto my blog because I feel it needs postage on the last day of conception, and I find a new layout Thanks, whoever did that, it’s absolutely great.

It really is

I ended up picking a whole new way of speaking here,  and I’ m sure it’ s going to take me a while to get rid of it. Oh well. Also met some great people, so between that and the great games, I’ d say that this entire weekend was a big success.

And eventually my cheeks will stop glowing. Fucking Brits

I can’t wait to go to England I can’t wait to go to England I can’t wait to go to England! Is it Tuesday yet? Are we there yet? are we? are we?

I think the concept of having a few days off is making this whole going to England for a gaming convention a whole lot more exciting and appealing than it would be otherwise. Then again, I am rapidly turning into the biggest tabletop gaming geek that ever lived. Well… that’ll be kind of hard, but I do really like it, to the point where I’ll spend a Saturday sulking if a game is canceled. It’s like having a little nanowrimo each Saturday, with the whole creative vibe and telling a story together.

Yeah. Geekage. I loves it.

I also love the fact that work is genuinely enjoyable. Sure, it’s not the most high brow thing I’ve ever done, but the environment is nice now that the heinous bitch colleague is on vacation, and it actually looks like I’ll get a contract there, and it also looks like people are finally going to do something about said heinous bitch colleague. Wooh! Fortunately I’ll be in England when she has her talk with the management. Imagine that… coming back to work after a ski-vacation (during which she probably alienated all of her ‘friends’), and then immediately getting called into ‘the office’ for ‘a talk’. You know, one of those get your act together or get lost kind of talks.

I’d hate to be in her shoes… Then again, they are her shoes to wear, and the only reason they’re so damned uncomfortable are because she made them that way.

hmmm, shoes. I wonder if I can get away with shoe shopping tomorrow. Noes, must save money! But shoes. But savings. Shoes. Savings. Shoooooooeeeees.

Eh. Shoes, I guess.

Here we go again with the blogging. It’s honestly been so long that I’ve kind of forgotten the hows, why’s and what’s of it. How does one rant again?

Well, not that I’d ever forget that… It’s jut a little awkward. But nice anyway, especially with a pretty blog to go with it. I really should figure out how to hide posts from the public eye again though, because some of my posts will be work related. Like this one.

Some people may have heard my rant about my colleague before, and those people know that psychotic disease infested whore is the most kind description I can give of her. She’s on vacation now, and it’s awesome. It’s like the rain is gone, and we’re merrily frolicking around in the meadows. Birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and all is full of pleasant working relationships.

Except for the dark cloud on the horizon. Shaped like a psychotic disease infested whore. She’ll be back again next week. I’ll be in the UK then. For valid reasons, and definitely not to hide. Nope. This is not the obviously relieved look on my face that you’re looking for. Word on the street is that it’s ‘get your act together or get out’- time for said psychotic bitch colleague. That would be nice… Then again, I’m not sure if I’m really buying that. We’ll see. In the meantime, I fully expect her to be a heinous cunt as soon as I get back from the UK. Because she’s that kind of person.

Sigh. Nice colleagues. I can haz them naow?

Lannie got me a new theme for my blog, so now I actually have to start using the thing again. Bah It’s not actually a bad idea though. I tend to stick my head in the send when things get iffy, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. So… yeah… clearly that would indicate that last year was iffy. And it was. It’s always dual, these days. My social life is great, and the fact that I’m working on some of my issues is great, but then there’s school and work and family and argh!

Which is not all that great. At least work is looking up these days. Who knows, with some luck I’ll actually be able to force some changes this year. That would be pretty sweet.

Then again, luck? That really doesn’t seem to be my thing. So I guess I’ll just keep swimming. Eventually I have to get somewhere, right?

I’m a total geek. I made my own dicebags.

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A while ago I bought a new clock. To display it’s awesomeness, a story in pictures follows.

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